so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
