A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
