He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
