Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
