Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
