You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
