A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
