have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
