Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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