I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
