Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i think i just lost a toe
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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