escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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