Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
