How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
