i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
