winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
