Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
