matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
