My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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