Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
