Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
