I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
