I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
