she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
