dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
