Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
