My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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