It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize