You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize