ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
