Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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