he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
