he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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