How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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