Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found the puke drawer
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
