the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
