You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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