You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize