yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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