my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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