If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
