i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
