Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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