In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
