Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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