who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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