i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
