Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
