Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
