he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
