Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
