this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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