stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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