i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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