The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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