I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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