i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
