dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
