I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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